I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
