By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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