You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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