He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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