I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
