i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize