Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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