Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
