There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
