Your tits are I can't wait for
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize