Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
