paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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