..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
