Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
