You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
