Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i dont even know how to be here
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
