she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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