I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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