She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize