i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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