I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
