I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
