I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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