sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
