okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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