oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
