Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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