I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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