i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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