When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
