i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
