Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
