Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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