he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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