its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
