i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
