so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
