just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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