Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
