seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We're too hungover to prance.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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