hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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