Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Everyone says I win the strip club
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
