so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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