He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
