those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
