it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
