5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The feeling are messing with the penis
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
