I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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