Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
