just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
