Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
