Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
