i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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