What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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