it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize