you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
