drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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