Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize