Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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