i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
