Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
