problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
