Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
