people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
