I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize