saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
